I Was the ‘Boys Have a Penis’ Kid from the Arnold Schwarzenegger Comedy: A Look Back.

The Austrian Oak is universally recognized as an Hollywood heavyweight. But, during the peak of his cinematic dominance in the late 20th century, he also delivered several genuinely hilarious comedies. A prime example is Kindergarten Cop, which marks its 35-year mark this holiday season.

The Story and That Line

In the classic film, Schwarzenegger plays a hardened detective who goes undercover as a kindergarten teacher to catch a killer. Throughout the film's runtime, the investigation plot serves as a simple backdrop for Schwarzenegger to film humorous moments with his young class. Without a doubt the standout belongs to a child named Joseph, who out of nowhere rises and declares the actor, “It's boys who have a penis, girls have a vagina.” Schwarzenegger responds dryly, “Thanks for the tip.”

The boy behind the line was portrayed by former young actor Miko Hughes. His career featured a notable part on Full House as the schoolyard menace to the child stars and the pivotal role of the resurrected boy in the screen translation of Stephen King’s Pet Sematary. Hughes remains active today, with several projects in development. Additionally, he is a regular on fan conventions. Recently recalled his recollections from the production over three decades on.

A Young Actor's Perspective

Interviewer: First, how old were you when you filmed Kindergarten Cop?

Miko Hughes: I believe I was four. I was the most junior of all the kids on set.

That's remarkable, I have no memory from being four. Do you have any memories from that time?

Yeah, to a degree. They're flashes. They're like picture memories.

Do you recall how you were cast in Kindergarten Cop?

My parents, primarily my mom would accompany me to auditions. Frequently it was like a cattle call. There'd be 20, 30 kids and we'd all just have to wait, go into the room, be in there for a very short time, read a small part they wanted and that's all. My parents would help me learn the words and then, as soon as I could read, that was the initial content I was reading.

Do you have any recollection of meeting Arnold? What was your take on him?

He was very kind. He was fun. He was good-natured, which I suppose stands to reason. It would be strange if he was a dick to all the kids in the classroom, that probably wouldn't make for a positive atmosphere. He was great to work with.

“It would have been odd if he was mean to all the kids in the classroom.”

I knew he was a big action star because that's what my parents told me, but I had barely seen his movies. I knew the air around him — he was a big deal — but he didn't frighten me. He was simply playful and I just wanted to play with him when he was available. He was working hard, but he'd kind of play with us here and there, and we would dangle from his limbs. He'd show his strength and we'd be holding on. He was incredibly giving. He gifted all the students in the classroom a Sony Walkman, which at the time was a major status symbol. This was the must-have gadget, that funky old yellow cassette player. I played the Power Rangers soundtrack and the Ninja Turtles soundtrack for ages on that thing. It finally gave out. I also received a real silver whistle. He had the coach whistle, and the kids all received one too as well.

Do you remember your time filming as being fun?

You know, it's interesting, that movie became a phenomenon. It was a major production, and it was an incredible opportunity, and you would think, as an adult, I would want my memories to be of working with Arnold, the legendary director, visiting Astoria, being on a professional set, but my memories are of being a selective diner at lunch. For example, they got everyone pizza, but I wasn't a pizza fan. All I would eat was the pepperoni off the top. Then, the first-generation Game Boy was just released. That was the big craze, and I was proficient. I was the smallest kid and some of the older kids would bring me their Game Boys to pass certain levels on games because I was able to, and I was really proud of that. So, it's all little kid memories.

The Line

OK, the penis and vagina line, do you remember anything about it? Did you understand the words?

At the time, I likely didn't understand what the word shocking meant, but I knew it was provocative and it got a big laugh. I was aware it was kind of something I shouldn't normally say, but I was given approval in this case because it was humorous.

“It was a difficult decision for her.”

How it originated, according to family lore, was they were still developing characters. Some character lines were written into the script, but once they had the entire ensemble assembled, it wasn't pure improvisation, but they worked on it while filming and, presumably someone in charge came to my mom and said, "We're thinking. We want Miko to say this. Are you okay with this?" My mom paused. She said, "I need to consider this, I'll decide tomorrow" and took a short while. It was a tough call for her. She said she wasn't sure, but she believed it would likely become one of the unforgettable moments from the movie and history proved her correct.